The best highs come from the best weed. You probably already know the difference between good weed and bad weed. Follow our connoisseur level cannabis evaluation advice and you will have the knowledge to hunt out that rarified dank weed.
EVERYONES A CANNABIS CRITIC
Stoners are a diverse bunch, and luckily for us, there is a cannabis strain to suit every palate. In general terms, there are two broad classifications of cannabis users: medicinal and recreational.
Whichever camp you fall into it’s crucial your medicine or stash is the finest quality high-grade marijuana.
Everyone is a critic, and ultimately it’s personal preference that should dictate your bud selection when it’s time for a smoke session. Deciding on which type of cannabis to blaze can be confusing even for veteran tokers these days.
Just like fine wine and cuisine, cannabis has its connoisseurs and bon vivants. Cannabis culture also has its bargain hunters and even smokers not looking to get high at all.
However, one thing every weed lover absolutely needs to know is how to tell the difference between the chronic and crud.
THERE’S GOOD, THERE’S BAD, AND THERE’S DANK WEED
Good weed is nice aromatic, tidy, sticky green nuggets with an above average high and smooth flavour. It’s a pleasant smoke that doesn’t leave you feeling out of pocket or if you have green fingers like you wasted your time cropping the strain.
Bad weed is low-grade “schwag». Moreover, it’s essentially defective bud across some or many evaluation categories. Poor quality weed is typically off colour, usually brownish, lacking in aroma, flavour, and most importantly potency.
Worse still, it’s usually full of seeds and stems. Brick weed is better than nothing but only just. Is Sinsemilla really too much to ask for in 2017?
Dank weed is top-shelf bud that has been cultivated by a skilled grower, professionally manicured, dried slowly, and thoroughly cured to unlock maximum potential.
The dankest weed has a funky powerful aroma, the frostiest coating of resin, delicious taste and unbelievable high. Dank weed excites all the senses and has a je ne sais quoi that makes it unique.
HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE
SMELL IT!
Scent is very important when it comes to discerning the standard of marijuana. The pungent aroma of dank weed literally jumps out of the bag, killer strains like the kerosene musked Chemdawg and stinking Cheese come to mind.
Although, all fine weed varieties need not necessarily be imbued with a dank musk, especially if the bud is derived from a fruity or sweet cannabis strain. Exotic delights like Lemon Skunk and Blueberry often emit perfumed floral, berry, and citrus odours that are more subtle than other fire strains.
In short, the smell of weed should give you a rough idea of what to expect when it comes to flavour, but again plenty of cannabis strains might surprise you when you actually blaze them. Should your nostrils catch a whiff of mould, mildew or chemicals always politely decline the offer of tainted weed.
TAKE A LOOK AT THE CRYSTALS
Visual inspection of merchandise is always the first step in the evaluation process for cannabis or any other consumer product. An eyeball inspection is sufficient to determine whether the bud has a thick enough coating of resin. And to spot obvious contaminants like bugs, fungus and hairs.
A decent pocket microscope and or scope attachment for your Smartphone will allow you to zoom in and see if the heads of the trichomes are fully mature with a mixture of milky white and amber heads.
If you see fields of clear resin glands, then the cannabis has been harvested a little premature. Should the bud be carrying any undesirable tiny, biological or chemical nasties magnification will expose them.
Healthy green or purple chunky Indica dominant buds covered with lots of frosty resin and tight calyxes are considered the only hallmarks of quality by some weed smokers these days.
However, if you prefer a more uplifting high, then Sativa weed is probably your smoke of choice. Mostly Sativa strains like Amnesia Haze and Neville’s Haze rarely conform to the contemporary definition of the best ganja, but they are.
Sativa dominant bud will invariably be looser and less compact but still makes primo stash. We recommend you give cannabis a close-up before you assume everything that looks kind of white is guaranteed top shelf stash.
Also remember CBD strains can glisten with resin but make for better medicine than a recreational smoke session.
WET OR DRY
Perfectly dried and cured dank weed grinds easily and doesn’t turn to dust – rather frosty green flakes. Bendy green twigs are indicative of a rush job on the drying process, and a botched curing with too high relative humidity can cause mold.
What you want is weed that’s not too dry and definitely not wet, but just right, and you absolutely deserve it so don’t settle for a lesser stash dear reader.
TOO MUCH LEAF
Outdoor weed can be forgiven for being a little leafy, and trimming can be a time-consuming business. As such, sometimes corners are cut.
So long as it’s organically cultivated, potent dope, and all the better if it’s available for a discount, a few sugar leaves are acceptable. Indoor weed really should be thoroughly de-leafed and properly manicured. Dank weed has got to be aesthetically stunning to make an impression on the 21st-century stoner, with few exceptions.
GOLDEN HAIRS
Colourful marijuana buds are beautiful, and for hybrid strains and Sativa’s, an exotic collage of hairs throughout the buds is an indicator of excellence.
Orange hairs are fairly common, red is rarer and hues of pink and purple rarer still. Vibrant coloured hairs don’t ensure devastating potency, but they do confirm bud maturity. White hairs mean the crop was harvested too soon and gets two thumbs down.
THE STICKIER THE BETTER
This is pretty self-explanatory, but not to be confused with being wet. Highly resinous bud is sticky, as its abundance of cannabinoid-laden resin smothers the bud. The stickier the cannabis is, the better!
THE SMOKE TEST: CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THAT WONDERFUL GREEN STUFF
Final judgement on all marijuana must be reserved until you blaze up the bud in a spliff or the bong/pipe/vaporiser – whichever the consumption method you customarily enjoy and prefer.
All of the aforementioned careful scrutiny of weed is sound advice. But until you consume weed you cannot be completely 100% certain of its effects. Fortunately, it’s the whole point and most fun element of any weed analysis.
We recommend you sample as many different strains as possible now that you know for sure what it takes for cannabis buds to be classed as true dankness. Toke on amigos, toke on and fill it up again.
Jun
2017